5, 4, 3, 1, Off-Blast : The A+ Twin Engine Case

“5, 4, 3, 1… OFF-BLAST!” Zlad! said it best. I can just picture someone turning on this twin-turbo computing-behemoth and having it lift off into outer space. AplusCase Case Systems (A+Case) has developed by far the most sophisticated and incredibly leet tower set-up on the market.

Some specs:

This Twin Engine model comes fresh off of the lot with 4 stock fans! Not only are you getting a computer that runs sub-zero [Flawless Victory], it can be used to store all of your frozen gaming delights (i.e. Hot Pockets). But, if you find yourself thinking… hey, you know what, I think I need more fans… then BAM! Now all of your many terabytes of porn can be cooled by an additional 2 fans (for a grand total of 6… we’re not kidding). Anyway, it rocks a special brand-new cooling system accompanied by two illuminated blue 250 mm fans. Gotta have them neons! Mechanics hook up their cars with neons… well so can nerds. You like your NOS cold, we like our hard drives even colder (Your as Cold as Ice!) Now the third and forth fans are both adjustable 25 cm fans, one located in the inside left door and the other located in the front to guide the air flow inside the case.

So, lets talk storage capacity. This beast can hold 13 disk drives (13!). That means you could feasibly direct-burn 12 DVD’s at the same time, or, store approximately 13 terabytes of your most beloved cinematic tales of barnyard-animal-on-human promiscuity. It has five 5.25″ bays and eight 3.5″ bays, where one is external and the other 7 are hidden. We’ll call the hidden bays ‘weed bays’. PCI slots? No problem. If you’re the type of dude (or, dare we say, chick?) that’s actually in the market for this thing, you’re obviously going to have slapped in seven NVIDIA 9000 series video cards before the Geek Squad at Best Buy has a chance to sniff your superbly-seasoned gaming musk.

And now, without further ado, straight outta Deutchland – the land that has blessed us with the A+Case, as well as the vast majority of skin-flicks that feature four-legged creatures and/or poopie/peepee, I give you… Zlad!

“Hey love crusader
I want to be your space invader
For you I will descend the deepest moon crater
I is more stronger than Darth Vapour
Obey me I is your new dictator
For you is Venus, I am Mars
With you I is more richer than all the Tzar’s
Make a wishes on a shooting stars
Then for you I will play on my cosmic guitars!”

- Zladko Vladcik aka Santo Cilauro